At 1st Sight
Does anyone believe in love at first sight?!?!
I don't know if I do... but if I did... it would sound like this
The moment our eyes met
They danced with each other across the room
I imagine a sea of people parting as if Moses rod commends it
and as he walks towards me
It would seem as if the doors to our souls were open
only to be flooded by insecurities
Shut again by the thought of pain
We'll play peek a boos with our hearts
Like Peek a boo
Here at am
At arms reach but a world apart
I can image us both desensitized by social media
We'll send text messages full of explanation points and smiling faces but won't take the time of day to call
& man I miss the day when I didn't have to guess if the "... "Was a good thing or a bad thing
Idk... I use to think dead silence on the other end was misleading but now I miss them because I can image how the cadence of his breathing & how they'll soothe me.. Let me know he was there, willing to listen whenever I was ready...
Ready to unveil the inner mechanism that make me the way I am
Like how I fear the man I love will leave me because daddy did
How in the end I fear I might die alone because I once chose my career over him
Soo instead I'll stay silent
feeling too exposed anyways, like a bachlorette left standing at the alter without a rose
He'll say have "no expectations, I'm seeing other people."
Yet I'll have it in my head to be only his...To only be in the moment
I can image Silly butterflies dictating my actions
Feel my mind kick boxing with my heart...
Wrestling with ideas of like & love
plucking away at hope by
Playing games of he loves me & he loves me not
And at the heart of the matter will be nothing & everything
Because nothing seemed to matter before us
And now everything seems to matter
Like every word I said to him & every word he doesn't say to me
I can imagine him impregnating me with desires rooted in traditions I had thought were longed lost in being Americanized
I would suddenly have the strange urge to hold his hand
Negate the thought of being claimed
Never thought I would be the one to want a family or to cook a meal especially made for him
But now I'm fantasying about preparing his meals on separate plates...because he likes it that way
So I'll Reconcile with the thought of a having a real relationship without the thought of acid reflexes...
In the meantime, he'll call me Candid, introspective & vulnerable
I'll say "Ahhh... That's sooo not me...
When did I become that girl?!?"
I'll feel completely out place
Somewhat awkward in my own skin
So "I'll" want to die & become reincarnated into a "we"
Because "we" sounds like the beautiful melody of a lullaby
Soothing enough to put to sleep all of my insecurities
So I'll conceal the awkward glances with blushes... Embrace the moment to freely expressed fears without judgement
And as "I" pass away, my final thought will be how lonely is the fluidity of independence
Because I think I just fell in love
Prisoner of Love
This morning/I fell hostage to our bed/Tormented by the memories we conceived/Twisted in the agony over the lost moments we never had/clenched my pillows for comfort/but they never held back/thinking of how we promise never to hold back/but we hold back/hold back 'i love you's like savings/left there for a rainy day when it's already too late/instead of using it for today/not letting the moment pass us by/but we hold back/logical rationalizations defeating emotional illusions/and my legs buckled under the pressure of that reality so I couldn't take the next step forward/couldn't put one foot in front of the other because footprints were taking me backwards to a time where our bed was our safe haven/and you were my hero/nourishing every inch of me with what is now lost in between the fossil of the sheets/this morning I was captured by dreams/thrown in the dungeon of our past/terrorized by what we were and of who we now are/fell hostage to our bed/thinking how ironic/we don't value what we have until it's gone/this morning I sent out a SOS call/closed out my life savings/in hopes of depositing one thought in your head/hoping it escapes your guards/penetrates your doubts/and reaches your heart/this morning I became a prisoner of love
"The Nature of Love"
Proverbs 30: verse 18-19
There are three things that amaze me—
no, four things that I don't understand:
how an eagle glides through the sky,
how a snake slithers on a rock,
how a ship navigates the ocean,
& how a man loves a woman.
Most people will seek the mechanisms of one or the other
I, on the other hand, am fascinated with all four
I’m absolutely intrigued at how eagles build their nests in tallest of trees
see both forward & to the side at the same time
identify a rabbit moving a mile away
all while carrying 7 times its weight
Eagles are so smart that they’re rarely out-witted
with the exception of maybe snakes
Simply put in Genesis 3:1
“now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast on the field that the Lord God had made”
So don’t be deceive
it was the snake that led to Adam & Eve’s demise
Coming in all shapes & sizes
surviving in most terrains
They bite, sting, poison and destroy anything that stands in their way
Now before you believe this to be a National Geographic or Discovery poem
Let me explain that
I believe that God's love
"the nature of Love" to be this way
Sooo amazingly uncomprehend able
Love isn’t blind but is like the eagle that can see both forward & to the side at the same time
Can carry the weight of world
And triumph against all odds
So Jen & Boots
Let your love be the eagle
Let it soar high beyond cloud nine to the tenth degree
Let Love be the wind that embraces the feathers on the eagle & allows it to glide
Let Love be the happiness that fills any void
And The peace of mind that comes
With the knowledge that you found the one
Because Love will Cross seas, Jump cars, Walk roads
and Acquire frequent flyer miles
Just to see your smile
Because Love is happy to see you chase your dream while it’s chasing you
But take heed
Problems sneak up the branch
The way a snake slithers on a rock
But no worries cuz God has his Providence on lock
He did not create a being he did not already love
in the same manner he did not create a problem that he cannot solve
So as you sail on this journey together
Let God be the ship navigating your relationship
& when snakes creep thru the weathering Heights of the tide
Let God be the North Star guiding you home
Through the storm
You’ll see the love of God reflected back
His promise to fulfill your dreams with the seal of a kiss
The circumstance of this ring
Proverbs 30: verse 18-19 talks about the things that amaze us yet we don’t understand
It talks about how a man loves a woman
When I think of that last line
I surrender to the notion that we’re loved beyond measureable proportions
Because I know God has made someone for each of us
Jenny you were made for Bernadino
And it bewilders me to the highest delight to see how he loves you
In RI, you dance together
In Miami, you learned how to survive
In New York, you struggled together
In Boston, you learned how to support each other
And although you lived in all
With each other is where you’ll find the home where you can rest for a lifetime
You can go 360 degrees
But its in each other’s arms that you’ll find your safety net
Where you have caught each other so many times before
In each other
anchor your soul
your pride
your joy
So in conclusion Jenny & Boots
Embrace the eagle
Avoid the snake
Hold on to the Ship
And your Love will always stand